


Statistical Likelihood

by ClockworkCourier



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Or first robot I guess, POV First Person, Tumblr Ask Box Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 20:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9201143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClockworkCourier/pseuds/ClockworkCourier
Summary: K-2SO is confused about his reprogrammer's behavior. It warrants some investigation, to say the least.





	

**Author's Note:**

> "Prompt: What does K-2SOdonewitheverything think about his humans' courtship ritual???" asked a wonderful anon.
> 
> "Heh, okay," said I, and cranked this out.

**-LOG 23255-K1PRP:** Cassian’s behavior has become progressively more erratic since the arrival of Jyn Erso. He did not reprimand her for stealing his blaster, and even after my insistence that either he take it from her or I would be given one as recompense, he did neither. There was an observable spike in his blood pressure and core body temperature, but no other outward signs of disturbance. I will have to consult him later about this occurrence and question him if there is a part of the mission that was omitted to me that would cause this to pass.

Cassian has at least confided to me that he does not trust Jyn Erso, and I quote, “As far as I can throw her out an airlock.” I agree with this sentiment.

**-LOG 23259-K1PRP:** After a diagnostics test this morning (time reference: Yavin IV solar clock), I have concluded there is nothing wrong with my scanners or gauges. There is clearly something wrong with Cassian, however, and I have privately informed him that he should seek medical treatment if the problem persists. His temperature continues to hike by nearly an entire degree when in the presence of Jyn Erso. I am currently running a probability matrix on the likelihood of her harboring some sort of communicable bacteria or virus. Unfortunately, the probability is only 29.011%. This percentage is not high enough to inform Cassian of my suspicions. 

**-LOG 23261-K1PRP:**  I have recently discovered a feature of my programming I was not previously aware of; that of hormone and pheromone reading, presumably for interrogation purposes as part of my original Imperial-oriented hardware. This I discovered in response to trying to further solve the conundrum of Cassian’s activities and behaviors. In a statistical model, the change in his behavior is 78.73% from what I consider his control behavior. This is astounding, and I place a majority of the blame onto Jyn Erso, who harbors no bacteria aside from the usual germs carried by one of her species, and no viruses that cannot be handled by the human immune system.

Upon activation of the dormant hardware, I have found massive changes in both Jyn Erso and Cassian’s hormone levels. I have provided a short table for hormonal changes in Cassian, in proximity to Jyn Erso and without her, with JE representing her presence in regards to him and C representing the control.

HORMONE Y4A77 - C = -.12 | JE = +44.1%  
HORMONE AL9O1 - C = +1.40 | JE = +27.01%  
HORMONE JVRJVR - C = +5 | JE = +79.241%

This evidence leads me to believe that Cassian’s behaviors and biological changes are, in fact, caused by Jyn Erso and that he is having an emotional response to her presence. This I find utterly distressing, as Jyn Erso’s hormone levels confirm this readout with very little variation, of between 4%-8%.

I will privately inform Cassian that he should consider reducing time spent in her presence so that he may finish his mission unhindered by his own backwards human biological responses, as this will undoubtedly lead to mission failure and, worse yet, embarrassment. 

**-LOG 23262-K1PRP:** Cassian firmly denied that he displayed any of these changes when I asked him. DIALOGUE REPLAY INITIALIZED:  
  
“What?! No! I don’t– Kay, _what_  are you suggesting?”

He then proceeded to stutter through several nearly unintelligible sentences for ten continual seconds before finally calming down. He has not said a word to me since except to tell me to “shut up”. This is not new behavior, so aside from this log, it is not worth recording for this particular case study.

**-LOG 23264-K1PRP:** Perhaps I was mistaken in my assumption that with Jyn Erso’s presence, the statistical likelihood of Cassian failing the mission would be higher. In fact, it seems as though Cassian is now 93.77% more likely to take initiative regardless of orders from General Draven or the Senator. He directly disobeyed orders from the council for Jyn Erso’s sake during her appeal, and although this mission to Scarif has a high probability of ending in failure or a painful death for all humanoid lifeforms involved, he proceeded to round up multiple members of the personnel who shared similar sentiments to him and Jyn Erso.

He then proceeded to give me direct orders to support Jyn Erso in all of her dealings from that point on, and to remain receptive to her orders. I have relayed this to Jyn Erso, which earned some amusement from her.

Perhaps more pressing as far as urgent matters is that Cassian and Jyn Erso are now showing even more dramatic changes in hormone variance. Consulting my databanks for a biological answer to this provided me this information:

HORMONE CHANGE IN HUMAN 2YRB6 AND HUMAN LLN64 IS CONDUCIVE WITH THE FOLLOWING RESPONSES: AFFECTION, SYMPATHY, ALERTNESS, PROTECTIVENESS, CARE, LOVE

I have decided not to inform Cassian of this, as data simulations show that he is 99.99% aware of this fact.

**-LOG 23268-K1PRP:** CORRUPTED DATA

DIAGNOSTIC READOUT: FAILED 

RETRIEVE LOG 23267-K1PRP

DATA RETRIEVAL INITIATED

LOG 23267-K1PRP PLAYBACK INITIALIZED

St-Stardust f-f-f-file retr-trieval active. F-f-file act-tive. P-p-per-rsonal sys-system-m-m fail-l-lure immine-ne-nent. 

PROBABILITY SIMULATOR ACTIVATED

INPUT: Statistical likelihood of success of SCARIF MISSION

PROBABILITY: 72.85% 

INPUT: Statistical likelihood of survival

PROBABILITY: 1%

INPUT: Statistical likelihood of CASSIAN ANDOR and JYN ERSO: ROMANTIC AFFECTION

…

…DATA LOADING

PROBABILITY: 100%

EXIT PROGRAM

Goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://radiojamming.tumblr.com)


End file.
